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dt 199623 largeThe Law of Desire says: The person who most wants the negotiation to succeed has the least bargaining power.

The more you or he wants to make the purchase or sale, the less power either of you has. Skilled negotiators develop the art of appearing both polite but uninterested, as if they have many other options, all of which are as attractive as the situation under discussion.

The first corollary of the Law of Desire says: “No matter how badly you want it, you should appear neutral and detached.”

The more important it is to you, the more important it is for you to appear unemotional, unaffected and unreadable. Don’t smile or appear interested in any way.

An attitude of mild boredom is best.

An attitude of mild boredom is best.

The second corollary of the Law of Desire says: “The more you can make the other party want it, the better deal you can get.”

This of course, is the essence of successful selling. Focus all your efforts on building value and pointing out the benefits the other party will enjoy when he makes the purchase or sale.

Desire is the critical element.

Desire is the critical element.

Chinese jade dealers were famous for showing one item of jade at a time to a prospective customer. The Chinese, by long custom, would keep their faces completely unemotional and inscrutable. However, when the dealer revealed a piece of jade that the customer really liked,

the pupils of the customer’s eyes would dilate widely.

the pupils of the customer’s eyes would dilate widely. The jade dealer would be watching carefully for this and when he saw the pupils dilate, he knew which item the customer wanted the most and which one he could negotiate on the most effectively.

How you can apply this law immediately:

  1. Make a list of all the benefits of dealing with you before you begin negotiating. Organize the list by priority, from the most persuasive benefit through to the least persuasive. Mention these key benefits in the course of the negotiation and be alert to his or her reaction.
  2. Always be polite and friendly during the negotiation. This makes it easier for you to change your mind, to make concessions and to compromise without your ego getting in the way. It also makes it easier for the other party to make concessions and agree at the appropriate time.